Mastery: Soul search for my inner voice
Self-Reflection -- 9 day challenge to awaken your soul
Another amazing miracle as I wrapped up the year 2022.
My mentee shared about an author who advocates for inner mastery and their words felt like they were my words too - about being our true self. I went on a path of exploration and signed up for the 9 day “Master your inner core” challenge.
These principles align to my core. I am the change that I want to see in the world.
When we start to see leadership as the discipline of bringing out the best in our self, the best in others, and the best in all situations in the pursuit of a common positive purpose, then all of us become leaders in every role we play, and all of life's moments become leadership moments.
Here is my reflection. Thank you Hitendra for your wisdom.
"Master Your Inner Core" Challenge - Div Manickam
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Day 1: Dec 25, 2022
Question 1
Reflect on your life. What are the desires and hungers that motivate your behavior and choices today? Where are you likely to end up in life?
Div - I am living a portfolio life and in awe with the miracles of life. I have simplified my life to the essentials and in love with the little joys of life.
I am a mentor for life and blessed to be serving those in need, with being fully present and just being there in the moment.
I want to travel and mentor in 2023 and be my true authentic self. I love curating moments and this is my inner joy, the explorer in me. My personal OKRs for 2023 will be my guiding light.
I see myself challenging the status quo and redefining the meaning of life in the next 5 years. Excited to have come across the World Changemaker fellowship. Whether I get selected or not, I know this is a sign for me to continue my path ahead. Taking another leap into the unknown and exploring the road less traveled.
Day 2: Dec 26, 2022
Question 2
YOUR IDEAL LIFE
The year is __2034___. You are fifty years old today. Your life review: a journey across the decades of your life. There have been challenges and triumphs, and your strivings and pursuits, has stayed true to your Inner Core.
Write down the kind of life you would have led, to allow you to conclude that it has been a life well lived.
Div: Today is May 21, 2034. My 50th birthday. A milestone for the books indeed. Life has brought joys and sorrows in abundance. I am blessed to ride the rainbow of life. There is so much I wanted to do and how much more to do.
Each day is a blessing.. A miracle of life. I am here because of what happened in 2021 when I got my divorce and ended my marriage of 10 years. Now, those years are in the past, a memory forgotten.
2021 was my breakthrough and break free year. I connected with mindful souls and was given a chance to live life to my fullest. To live life on my terms, not how society expects me to be.
And I am so glad I took the road less traveled and took a leap into the unknown - I have traveled to over 50 countries, 100 cities and mentored 1000s of folks around the world. I visited Aurora Borealis - Northern Lights in Iceland on my 40th birthday, a dream come true. A moment worth cherishing for a lifetime.
My definition of family has morphed into a beautiful existence with folks who are in my life today. I embraced who I truly am - breaking down the barriers and fears that kept me hidden from me.
I found love in a myriad of ways.. Not just one but a million who believe in what I believe and who see me as I am. Not someone who is trying to change me to fit in. I finally belong in this world. I am grateful for the journey of a lifetime.
I am a mentor and explorer for life. An architect of life, shaping the nooks and corners to let the guiding light flow through - to be seen and appreciated, to be loved and embraced …
Each day has given me joys and sorrows
Dear ones who have moved on to newer places in time and space
New friendships fostered and old ones preserved in memory
Every day is a new day. One day at a time. Looking to appreciate the little joys of life for the next 10! One day at a time. Cheers!
Day 3: Dec 27, 2022
Question 3
Who are the people you most admire? What themes do you observe across them— purpose, qualities and accomplishments?
Pick one of these people, and visualize that you are having dinner with them. What one question would you most like to ask them over the meal? And what’s one thing you’d want them to know about you?
Div: My fav people in the world - my inspiration are the change makers, those who redefined life as we know it today. Those who were not ok with the status quo and created beauty amidst the chaos.
Reflecting on leaders who have inspired me, I asked myself the following:
What makes these leaders inspiring?
How can we trust these leaders?
How do these leaders instill hope and faith (even if we have never met them in person)?
Trust and credibility are interconnected when you are charting your own path, and I believe an inspiring leader is often someone who will support you no matter what lies ahead. It’s a leap of faith on both sides.
My top 3 influencers in my life
Princess Diana: Diana, Princess of Wales, charted her own path and challenged the norm. Philanthropic at heart, she did things that mattered: helping people and saving lives. As a leader, it’s important to have your people in your heart in whatever you do.
Simon Sinek: Simon Sinek’s book Start with Why offers a simple yet powerful concept. Find Your Why and The Infinite Game inspired me in ways I could not have imagined. Sinek’s concepts can help chart us to the future of authentic leadership where without people and values, there are no companies.
Thich Nhat Hanh: Miracle of Mindfulness showed me a new path — one where I can slow down, appreciate what’s around me and live in the present. It’s important for each of us to remember that life is not a race and now is all that we can control.
One person to have a meaningful conversation at dinner: Thich Naht Hanh
What one question would you most like to ask them?
First, a sacred bow to the master for healing me. I would share my one mindfulness practice that helped the most - wash the dishes when you wash the dishes - be fully present.
This is a tribute to the father of mindfulness, Thích Nhất Hạnh (Thay).
A Tribute to Thay (Thích Nhất Hạnh) - Mindfulness for Life.
I am intrigued by the willingness to give and serve the people. I would ask why he chose the path - his inner why. What led him - his struggles and journey is awe inspiring, but I want to know his inner why.
And what’s one thing you’d want them to know about you?
The first time I read about mindfulness was in April 2020 as I was healing from burnout, stress and anxiety. I didn't know much but somehow it helped me calm my mind: the endless voices in my head and it gave me the peace that I've longed for.
I am inspired by your commitment to humanity and I am committed to be the change I want to see in the world. Thank you for being you.
This reflection and question 3 today is an eye opener. It made me realize why I am the way I am. I am here in the world to serve and help folks be their best. This is my uncharted path. The road less traveled.
Day 4: Dec 28, 2022
Question 4
What sources allow to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, life, humanity and your connection with the universe?
Do you ever turn within, to the calm center of your being, your Inner Core, and seek intuitional guidance from there on these questions?
Div: If you asked me this question 2 years ago, I wouldn’t know how to answer. Today, after soul searching and finding my why, my manifestation in this world - I know I am seeking inner wisdom to guide my path ahead, the road less traveled..
I seek deeper understanding from books and experiences. I believe and I have surrendered my life to the flow of the universe. Before, if I wished for something and it didn't happen, it would upset me. Now, I am ok, knowing that there is an unseen hidden source that is working on my behalf, helping me in ways I cannot describe.
Last year, when I had my anxiety blackout, I fell and scarred my face. It was a wake up call to pay attention to the peripheral fireflies. That is guiding me to a life untapped. My true potential. I quit my job and decided to be a mentor for life - my meaningful work.
This is the first year as self employed, where I earned 25K, less than 50% of my salary since I got my first job and I am ok. I have made trade offs, simplified my life, made choices and decisions in my career and life. This is the new me. Now, I am going to continue my pursuit for happiness and serve those in need and earn what I want (5K/month) to be an explorer, travel and mentor folks.
I am blessed for this chance to help those in need. Perhaps I am masking my own struggles, but this gives me confidence that I will be ok.
Day 5: Dec 29, 2022
Question 5: What defining moments have you experienced in your life? moments that deeply affected you - inspiration or pain, or challenged you.
What do you take away from these defining moments?
Div: Life is interesting that way - the moments that shape you come by as butterflies, you rarely notice them, but they have a profound effect on you. That’s my life.
When I see injustice or people being greedy or selfish, I hate it. It burns me to the core. I do feel helpless at times. But that shaped me - I will never be a part of injustice - whether it's at work, where employees are not valued or in family, where relatives only value you for your money.
A defining moment in my life was seeing how generous and kind my parents are. Even when they don't have enough, they are giving and helping those in need. This shaped me to be the girl I am today - I strive to give more than I receive.
When stress and anxiety was screaming from my bones, I didn't know why or what it meant. Now when I look back, I don’t do well in stressful toxic environments. I am proactive and better when I am prepared ahead of time. Folks admire my discipline and calm, but I know that is integral to be my best self.
This morning, we had a small incident at home, where we didnt have the cash to pay and google pay was acting up. It brought anxiety in me, and I didn’t know how to best respond to the situation. That’s why I always prepare as much as I can ahead of time.
When we need to get ready and go somewhere - I am ready ahead of time and I hate waiting for others who are not ready on time. I am the girl who will arrive at the airport 2-3 hours ahead of time, just to avoid the last minute anxiety, the worry of missing the flight.
When I have a meeting, I will join the call a few minutes ahead, same for my classes and even for in person meetings. I am early and hate to be late. I feel bad when folks don’t show the same respect for time. But I am getting better at understanding that not everyone has the same discipline. So, when I wait for my mentee to join the google meet call and they don’t show up - I wait for 10 minutes and then drop off. Before I used to email or message them in the community app. Now, I just let it be. If they can join, they will - if not, that’s ok too.
I am going to dedicate my energy and time to mindful souls, who are seeking to be their best authentic selves. I am channeling my energy into the universe to connect with kind souls who believe that there is a better happy life out there.
I am not a fan of the negativity that is shared in news and social media. I am not going to be a part of this and I know my energy is better spent helping folks in need.
Day 6: Dec 30, 2022
Question 6
In what situations have you been your best self? And how would you describe your best self? What does it take, for you to get closer to this state of being?
Div: I am my best self, when I am true to who I really am. When I am not pretending or doing things that are not in line with my authentic identity.
I hate to pretend or be someone I am not - when I am asked to fit in a box and meet society’s expectation, this is not me.
I am breaking from the mold, the cocoon if you will, to allow the caterpillar to be a butterfly.
I know some days are hard, because of the conditioning of over 38 years which have shaped me in my inner core. But I truly believe that I can be at peace and find my home in the world.
After the divorce, my identity in the society was questioned, because a girl is only a part of the society as a married woman who bears children. I decided that marriage isn’t for me, it was making me sick and anxious like I had to pretend to be someone I am not. I was not keen on having children and I had plenty of folks keep asking me why not, when all I could think in my head was I don't want to and I don't care.
Now as I approach 2023, I am committed to be the change I want to see in the world. This means my parents will not be happy as I chart my own path ahead. But this is who I am. I need to be my true self exploring the world, so I can help folks be their best selves.
I started to purge my email inbox and google drive to create space for 2023 and everything it holds. Its a healthy practice and one I plan to keep for life.
Day 7: Dec 31, 2022
Question 7
What yearnings have you experienced that go beyond everyday existence – yearnings for experiences, outcomes, pursuits?
Div: I am yearning to travel the world. For the past 2 years, a fear instilled in me that I cannot travel alone by myself as a girl - as if the world is a scary place to be.
But, I so want to travel and explore - that is who I am. I have been curating memories from my prior trips and wish to get out more and fill my soul.
I miss traveling - this year 2022, I was telling myself that I was traveling virtually as I got to connect with mentees around the world - from the Americas to Europe to Asia..
I know this is a part of me that is wanting to get out there - to break the stigma - be independent and free to live life on my own terms.
When I left my full time job, I didn't know how I would support myself and my parents. Now I believe that the universe will help as always. I am grateful for the PMA teaching opportunity which opened new doors for me.
And I am determined to get out there and explore the world and capture moments one city at a time. I am a foodie and explorer…
Over the past 2 years, I have become mindful of my actions, my emotions and my fears. I am learning to caress my fears and welcome the concerns and struggles. Instead of letting it bury inside, I am learning to open my arms and embrace change.
I am comfortable with uncertainty and learning to be ok and go with the flow.
I have created a cocoon, a sanctuary here in Kerala at my parents home. I don't even go out because I feel out of place.. I don't feel like I belong. I enjoy my time with mentees with my laptop, but the rest of the conversations here with folks feel forced. I don't wear jewelry, but here I am asked to.. Even though it is not me. I wish folks understood, vs having to live to society’s expectations.
I am ready to break out of the cocoon and let the caterpillar open into a butterfly.. I am ready for 2023 to unveil the real me - true and authentic, open and free.
Day 8: Jan 1, 2023
Question 8
In what moments in your life do you feel most true to yourself? What does this reveal to you about who you are, at your Core?
Div: A beautiful way to welcome 2023 and everything it holds - the good, the bad and the ugly..
I am my best true self when I mentor and when I explore and travel. There is nothing more in life for me - I am not a family person.. I am a wanderer, home is where I am. I love to explore new food and capture moments. That’s who I truly am. I always had a million reasons to not do it. I had convinced myself that I had lost my wings to fly far and high.. But I now know that nothing is lost.
Today, I got to be near my fav place in the world - the beach, the ocean.. My healing is right here with the waters.. In the past 24 hours, a bit happened, a relative committed suicide and our new year plans had shifted… and then this morning I was near the beach .. capturing moments in time. And got to see dolphins swim by.
There is no better way I could have welcomed 2023. Thank you universe for continuing to shower your miracles. I pray for the waves to wash away my struggles and fears, and let me soar and fly high and far away.
As I start 2023, I pray to be brave and do what makes me me. To be proud of who I am as I am and not fit in. To embrace my identity in its whole, not be shamed or feel like I am not meeting society expectations.
Because who cares - at the end of the day, I am the one leading my life to be meaningful and fulfilling. I am the one in the arena, not the passersby or family or relatives who are taking the next step and then the next step to live a life that matters.
I am ready to prepare for a 2023 full of adventures. I don’t need to figure everything out. I will take it one day at a time.
Day 9: Jan 2, 2023
Question 9
Do you possess an inner voice? In what situations do you feel in tune with it?
Now, I invite you to choose a moment in the future - a date, a place, a time. Set a reminder in your calendar to read through answers. Reflect on what changed for you.
Date: May 21, 2024 - my 40th birthday (added to my calendar)
Div: Today and yesterday were surprisingly challenging. A friction, an inertia sits within.
The feeling of being out of place rang true again while with family and relatives.. Like I want to run away because I don’t feel like I belong here. My life and purpose is pulling me away into the unknown.
This morning I woke up and read a few pages of the Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra in hopes of finding the words that will bring peace and calm to my mind. I read about wholeness and fearlessness - two words that feel right in the moment.
My mind is at unease and I am observing and letting the emotions be rather than slip it under the rug.
I thought I was glad to take time off but now I don’t feel like I want the time off, but rather get back to start the year.
I had hoped to travel and explore places, but that didn't happen.. So I will let it be. Another time.
My inner voice is louder than before.. I know my path and who I am are not welcome or appreciated here.. So I shall find my home in the universe and the world is full of miracles. I will let my fears and uncertainty thoughts float as clouds. I am safe.
My fearless member wished for New years and shared their struggles and pains over the past few months. I wish for peace and share healing thoughts and prayers for them. I matter and they matter too. We all belong in the world just as we are.
As you navigate your waves and seek peace and freedom, here is cheers to your sunrise within! Your cherished life awaits you!
Cheers to 2023!