The journey called life with ebbs and flows

The last one month was eye opening. I was an observer: 1. seeing how I react to things, 2. seeing how others react to things, and 3. seeing how their reactions had an impact on me.

It’s fascinating! How some things upset me and how some things bring pure joy. 

I'm amazed by the one. I'm amazed by the environment that I grew in and I am amazed by everything around me. 

When I wrote about focusing on the open space and not thinking about hitting the trees, it was the best analogy that helped me to stay grounded every time something would disturb me.

Focus on open space amidst the trees

On my flight to India, I didn't watch TV or any movies and I enjoyed the relaxation on 4d visual scenery - starscape, northern lights, cherry blossoms. Pure bliss.

There was some serenity and peace that I needed to relax myself and rest on my long 30+ hour trip. 

And when I reached home, I still had energy and wasn’t exhausted as I usually would, and that was a surprise. I stepped in to help as much as I can, and be fully present for the first time in my life while I was home in Calicut. 

Some of my highlights and cherished memories are spending time with mom and dad and sister. This one month was a blessing. 

I know, I cannot take away the tears from my parents and their worries, but I hope they know that I'm doing well and I'm happy just the way I am. 

• I enjoyed the beautiful flowers, shining bright and gorgeous - full of life.

• I enjoyed the train trips and the wind breeze on my face and getting lost in thought while the train chugs on the tracks. 

Life is not about the destination. It's about the journey. 

I also noticed certain things that really upset me: Loud noises and chaotic environments. Too much crowds really got on my nerves. 

I was at a festival and I burst into tears. And I didn't know what had come across, but I just couldn't take it all. So I let it flow and not hold back. 

I realized I don't have to pretend to like things that I don't like. It's just who I am. 

It felt like I was living two lives - my fears going into the trip vanished in the first week because we didn't really talk about it much. They were worried that I would be worried and I was worried that I would upset them more. So, in the silence, we stayed. 

There is beauty in all of this, and I have to accept that not everything needs to be changed. Sometimes there is a false lie, that is better than the whole truth and sometimes time is all it needs to get to where it needs to be. 

This was an analogy I read in the book, The road less traveled by Scott Peck and it was very timely - not all truths need to be said or something along those lines.